Hate and Love
by Totoromo
Summary: Kenpachi decides that Yumichika is his. His pursuit is less than appreciated by a very upset Yumichika, who tries to goad his captain into hating him. YAOI, KenpachixYumichika. M for language and sex in last chapter.
1. Bad Situation

**Title: **Hate and Love

**Fandom: **Bleach

**Rating: **M

**Disclaimer: **Bleach is created and owned by Tite Kubo, I merely pay homage to characters and a story I love.

**Warning: **M for language and violence, sex too (sounds like fun times ahead to me)

**Description: **Kenpachi decides that Yumichika is his. His pursuit is less than appreciated by a very upset Yumichika, who tries to goad his captain into hating him. YAOI, KenpachixYumichika.

_A/N: I read this pairing in a fanfic and thought to myself, "yeah, like that would ever happen", and then immediately went to thinking of ways it _would_ happen. Why not? I love my Squad 11 men and they need lots of love too! I'm a huge fan of keeping characters in character, otherwise what's the point; so hopefully I don't stray too far in any of this._

**Bad Situation**

* * *

It wasn't usual for Kenpachi to get drunk with his subordinates, he preferred to drink alone. It was never a social activity to him; it was something to do when he was bored or wanted to get completely wasted, preferably ending with unconsciousness on his part. However, Yachiru had wanted to go to some stupid light festival and they'd all wound up in some backroom drinking up all the establishment's liquor, probably while the owner was cowering in a corner someplace. Kenpachi hadn't really remembered if they had actually asked for the room or just acquired it.

A couple of captains and lieutenants had been there, and a smattering of people from various squads. Ikkaku had gotten KO-ed by the big boobed lieutenant of Squad 10, presumably after getting too frisky. Kenpachi was pretty sure that the two were friends, but that hadn't stopped her from delivering a very nice right cross that hit solidly. It might actually have worked in Ikkaku's favor because Rangiku had then felt so bad that she had tried to revive him the rest of the night, assuring Yumichika that she would take care of him and make sure that he got someplace safe that night. Kenpachi was hoping that "safe" meant her quarters, he guess he'd see when he saw Ikkaku's face in the morning. It was never hard to tell when Ikkaku got laid; he always had the stupidest grin on his face the whole next day.

Yachiru had left sometime earlier in the care of Jushiro, which is why Kenpachi was now stumbling back to his quarters with his arm draped around the back of his 5th seat, Yumichika. Kenpachi had to admit he was surprised that the little guy could hold his weight at all. He looked like a good wind could blow him away to Kenpachi's eyes and he was smaller around the waist than a lot of the women Kenpachi had been with. Kenpachi looked at the man next to him and grinned. Hell, he looked better than most of the women that Kenpachi had been with.

"Get out of my way you disgusting slime!" Yumichika said, swiftly kicking a drunken man that had been approaching them in the stomach.

Kenpachi chuckled. He had always found Yumichika's temper to be amusing. Not of lot of the squad really talked a lot during battle, but Yumichika like to tear his opponents apart verbally while doing the same with his zanpakuto.

As they continued on their way, Kenpachi realized he really wanted to fight something. He probably shouldn't have gotten so drunk, because it was going to be hard to find someone to fight now. He wouldn't be able to chase them down and force them to face him.

"Yumichika," he said.

"Yes, Captain?" Yumichika replied.

"Wanna fight?"

"Ha! I'm wearing some of my best clothes because of the festival. They're already going to smell like someone poured a gallon of sake over it, I'm not going to get blood on them as well," Yumichika said.

Kenpachi accepted that as a reason. It seemed like a perfectly Yumichika reason to not do something.

Yumichika was happy to see that his captain was settling down and that he wasn't going to wind up at Squad 4 nursing a broken…everything. Yumichika would've been less happy if he knew that Kenpachi had found a solution to his not getting a fight.

"Damn it," Yumichika said, as Kenpachi slid a little to the ground. He wrapped his arms around Kenpachi's waist and hoisted him upright again. "Arm around my shoulder," he ordered.

"Yessir," joked Kenpachi. He saw a copse of trees ahead. "Hey, do you mind if we take a break up there?" he said.

Yumichika sighed. He knew from his experiences lugging a drunken Ikkaku around that his captain probably wanted to pee. "Fine," he agreed.

When they got there though, he was surprised when his captain turned and faced him.

"You and Ikkaku, you've never…?" Kenpachi asked, his question obvious from the look on his face.

"What? Like it's any of your business," Yumichika said indignantly.

Kenpachi shrugged. Ikkaku seemed to be all about the ladies but maybe they had some sort of deal like Shunsui and Jushiro did. He liked his 3rd seat and didn't want to be crossing any lines.

"Like I'd ever date that jerk any…eeeee!" Yumichika was cut off, much to his surprise, by his captain picking him up and propping him against a tree. His captain was a lot taller than he was and his feet dangled above the ground as he struggled.

"Captain! What are you doing?" Yumichika said, trying to remain calm. Despite his question, it was very clear to him what his captain was doing, he wasn't stupid. He could clearly feel his captain's hard member pushing into him and see the lust in his eyes. I should have just fought him, he thought to himself.

"Mmmm…Yumichika," Kenpachi said, pressing him harder into the tree, slightly biting at his neck.

"Stop!" Yumichika yelled, pushing at Kenpachi's chest. "Stop now!"

Kenpachi ignored him and kissed him heatedly, smashing his lips against Yumichika's. Yumichika felt like he couldn't breathe. Feeling his captain's wild spiritual pressure, the force of his captain's weight pressing him into the tree, his demanding lips, and the very obvious fact of his arousal, Yumichika panicked. Growing up in the streets had taught him a couple of things, and his reaction to grab his zanpakuto was automatic. He still could have stopped there, but his emotions; both fear and rage, lead him to do something that he swore he would never do.

"'Split and deviate, Ruri'iro Kujaku."

* * *

"Ok," Yumichika thought, as he lay in bed that morning after a sleepless night, "It's ok, I've got a plan".

His plan first required Ikkaku to be unconscious. He had been waiting for his friend to come back to their shared living quarters, but so far no luck.

The morning drew on. Yumichika frowned. He wouldn't go straight in to work would he? There was supposedly some sort of morning report that they were supposed to be there for but none of them, including the captain, ever made it on time, or sometimes at all.

"Damn," Yumichika said, and began to get ready.

Yumichika cursed again, although at further length, when he saw that Ikkaku was sitting on the futon in Captain Zaraki's office. Captain Zaraki was already sitting behind his desk.

Yumichika sat down next to his best friend gingerly, looking over at him. He didn't look pissed off, so obviously Kenpachi hadn't said anything yet.

"Hey, Yumichika," Ikkaku said. "You look really, I don't know, good today."

Yumichika sighed. He knew that he was practically glowing from the extra spiritual pressure that he had rattling around inside.

"Um, I had good date last night," Yumichika answered.

"Heh, me too," grinned Ikkaku. He was waiting for Yumichika to make the inevitable jokes about Rangiku knocking him out, and then curiously pumping him for information about what had happened last night, but all he got was silence. He looked up to see his captain glaring at Yumichika.

"Hey, Captain, you look kind of beat up. Do you…" Ikkaku began.

"What the hell Yumichika!" Kenpachi said angrily, moving from behind his desk. Yumichika got up quickly. "Are you a fucking vampire or something? Sucking me dry and then leaving me to die or something?"

"AHHHHH!" Ikkaku yelped, leaping into the corner. All that was ringing in his ears was Yumichika saying he'd had a good date and Kenpachi saying the words "sucking me dry".

Kenpachi looked over to his now completely wild-eyed 3rd seat. "You have no idea do you? You think we're talking about sex or something."

"HAHAHHAA, um, there's paperwork. Paperwork should get paperworked," Ikkaku said, bolting out the door.

Good, Yumichika said. He had no idea where Yachiru was, but he wanted to talk to his captain alone.

"You asshole! You're pissed off at _me_ for defending myself against you? What the hell kind of person are you? Did you think I'd just let you rape me?" Yumichika yelled.

"Whoa, I wasn't going to do any of that," Kenpachi backed off a little. "I was just taking a kiss."

"SAME DIFFERENCE FUCKWAD! I still didn't want to do it!"

Kenpachi wondered why he didn't slash the little guy in half right there, but he still felt drained from last night. It would be better to do it when he was at full power so he could enjoy the moment more.

"If you tell Ikkaku I'll kill you!" Yumichika continued.

"You couldn't kill me," Kenpachi laughed.

"Not in a fair fight! But I sure as hell could sneak into your room and cut off your hands while you were sleeping! No more fighting for you! You wouldn't die in battle; you'd probably die of a paper cut from being forced to a desk job. EXCEPT THAT YOU COULDN'T EVEN DO THAT!" Yumichika had been dealing with the feeling of Kenpachi's chaotic spiritual pressure that had been trapped inside of his zanpakuto all night and it was finally getting to him.

Kenpachi was shocked. "That's cowardly," he said in a low dangerous voice.

"Damn right it's cowardly, I feel like I should poke out an eye for even saying it, but I would do it if you told Ikkaku about my zanpakuto," Yumichika threatened.

Yumichika didn't really have anything to add after that, so he launched himself out the door. He needed to find Ikkaku and straighten some things out.

Kenpachi was still wondering why he didn't at least strangle the little brat for a little while. He realized that he actually kind of thought it was cute though. It's not like anyone ever talked to him that way, now, or ever. He thought of Yumichika like someone would view a puppy growling when they got too close to his bone.

* * *

"Ikkaku," Yumichika said, having found him without much difficultly. Ikkaku had only the most tenuous grasp of the concept of controlling his spiritual pressure and he definitely couldn't hide it when he was this agitated.

"Uh, Yumichika, you know I'm pretty busy right now so..." Ikkaku began, trying to walk off. Yumichika took a firm grip on his collar and refused to let him go.

"Nothing is going on between me and the captain," Yumichika said. "At least, nothing romantic is."

Ikkaku had been trying to figure a way out of the situation in his mind for the last couple of minutes, but seeing the look in Yumichika's eyes finally calmed him. He could tell that Yumichika was pissed, more pissed off than Ikkaku had seen him in a long time.

"So…" Ikkaku started.

"We're just fighting, it's fine," Yumichika said. He couldn't get the anger out of his voice though.

"Heh," Ikkaku said. "Well, that's not that bad. At least you two aren't fucking, I think I might have to drink myself under for a couple weeks if that happened."

"Ok," Yumichika said, trying to get things back on to a more normal track, "What happened with you and Rangiku?"

Ikkaku grinned.


	2. Questionable Decisions

**Questionable Decisions**

* * *

"Ikkaku," Yumichika said, "I really need to work out a little…excess energy."

"Well, good thing we got an ass load of new recruits that need a little common sense pummeled into them," Ikkaku replied with a grin.

* * *

Yumichika was getting eyeballed by the new members of Squad 11, but he was used to that. He knew that, it being Captain Zaraki's squad, it was far less likely that they were admiring him and his perfections, and far more likely that they were measuring him as a combatant. They always seemed to get that last part down wrong and he viewed it as part of his job as 5th seat to reeducate the unwashed masses that came through the Squad 11 gates on exactly how much a "fancy pants pretty boy" can absolutely demolish a giant ogre who thought his damn zanpakuto somehow made him invincible. He often used his opponent's underestimation of him in battle, but there was no reason their own men needed to die because they hadn't learned how to always be on their guard. It's not that he really cared about them individually, although he did have to file paperwork when they died, which was a hassle. He just hated having to train new ones. Somehow they just kept getting dumber and uglier and Yumichika had to wonder if they were really scraping the bottom of the barrel every time a crop of greenhorns stood in front of him.

Yumichika looked over at Ikkaku, who was scanning the crowd. He could tell that the same thoughts were going through his mind.

"Amateurs, all of them," Ikkaku said finally, loud enough for them to hear him. They began to grumble.

"I'd like to hear you say that again, after I defeat you," one of them said, coming forward.

"Oh, there wouldn't be a point to that, you'd either be unconscious or dead," Ikkaku replied. "Besides, I'm not going to fight you today, Yumichika Ayasegawa, the squad's 5th seat will." There was more chatter.

"How is this going to work?" one of the recruits asked.

"Basically you'll just run up to him one by one and then get your asses handed to you and hopefully not lose any limbs in the process. The ones that need it will be carted off to Squad 4 and made fun off by the rest of us as we get drunk and talk about what complete losers you are," Ikkaku explained.

"Ha, I don't think so," the man who had spoken to Ikkaku earlier said.

"Have fun, Yumichika," Ikkaku said, moving out of the way with a wave.

* * *

Captain Zaraki watched Yumichika fight with interest. Yumichika had always been a good fighter. He didn't win against Ikkaku but then again, he never really seemed to try to. Kenpachi was watching him fight this time knowing that Yumichika always fought with the equivalent of his hand tied behind his back.

Kenpachi always had trouble thinking in other people's terms. To him, he assumed that Yumichika didn't use his zanpakuto because it was a cheap power and would make fights way too short. He did think about Yumichika's threat, which meant the other reason he didn't use it was because he didn't want Ikkaku to think he was weak. The reality was that it wasn't that Yumichika was scared that Ikkaku would think he wasn't a strong fighter anymore, it was that he was absolutely terrified of how Ikkaku would react knowing that Yumichika had lied to him for basically their entire friendship.

Kenpachi was still mulling things over slowly in his mind. Yumichika had a kido type zanpakuto, which meant he was a weakling who had to use the equivalent of magic and spells to keep him safe. However, aside from last night, Kenpachi had never seen him use his zanpakuto in that way, he'd only ever seen Yumichika use physical attacks. So that meant that he was able to defend himself, aside from the night before. Then again, it's not anyone could hope to defeat Kenpachi (besides one moment of weakness to a feisty human) so maybe it was ok. Kenpachi frowned. Had Yumichika really thought he was going to rape him? He guessed he had been kind of drunk and not really thinking, but he would have left him alone eventually.

He looked up suddenly. What in the world what Yumichika doing?

* * *

Yumichika was still feeling the after effects of using his zanpakuto in the way that he had. One of the many reason Yumichika didn't like using it was because it formed an odd connection between him and the person he was attacking. The transfer of spiritual pressure made it a little too intimate for Yumichika to ever want to use in public, even if he could. The fact that he had made that connection with someone like his captain, who he currently passionately hated, made him angry. Yumichika liked his passions, they made him artistic he liked to think, but in this case, it was making him terrifying.

He hadn't gone easy on the new recruits at all. The only ones that had escaped fairly severe bodily injury were those that had been fortunate to suffer a head strike and go unconscious. It might be fair to say, although it was Squad 11 so there weren't that many, that some recruits were actually faking unconsciousness as a means to escape the inexplicable wrath of their 5th seat.

Yumichika turned and rushed the remaining standing group of soldiers, hacking at them the way someone else might chop down trees. He had gone to shikai almost immediately when starting to fight; he wanted to get the feel of his fully released zanpakuto last night out of his hands, its memory out of his head.

"Uh…" Yumichika was blocked by Hōzukimaru. He hadn't even noticed Ikkaku release his zanpakuto. He looked at his friend, whose eyes were gleaming.

"It's been a long time since we've had a good fight," Ikkaku said. "You seem like you might be in the mood for it today."

Yes, Yumichika thought to himself, this will be a lot better.

The two fought with a violence that stunned those of the newcomers still aware enough of what was happening to observe the fight. The shock of the continued raising of their battling spiritual pressures brought some of the regular members of the squad out to the training grounds to watch.

"Ahhhhh!" Ikkaku roared, jumping and coming from above. He was blocked, the force of his attacked redirected over Yumichika's shoulder. This was being more difficult than usual, Ikkaku thought, pausing for a moment while he studied Yumichika. He didn't like to use street tricks on his friend, because Yumichika always chided him and told them they weren't elegant. However, they tended to be very effective.

Ikkaku launched himself at Yumichika, splitting his zanpakuto as if to do a wide range attack, but instead raising a knee to hit Yumichika squarely in the chest. At least, that had been the plan. Yumichika wasn't there. Ikkaku, even as he realized that this must mean Yumichika was behind him, was laughing to himself. Of course; it's not like Yumichika hadn't seen all of his old street fights. He wasn't the type of person to forget a move.

Yumichika struck down with force, a spray of blood shooting from Ikkaku's back.

Kenpachi had to admit he was a little shocked. He wasn't as shocked as Yumichika was though.

"Ikkaku! I'm so sorry!" Yumichika apologized watching the blood drip from his zanpakuto. He hadn't been thinking, it should have been just a small blow with a slight cut, but he had been angry and it had gone deep. He had felt it rip apart skin and muscle. Ikkaku...

"Ha…ha…HAHAHAHHAHAH!" Ikkaku laughed maniacally. He charged, hitting hard, pushing Yumichika back. Yumichika immediately got over his guilt. He needed to defend himself.

"Heh," Kenpachi said.

Yumichika had known he was there of course, but actually hearing him speak, just a little, brought all of his rage back to the surface.

Ikkaku wasn't really sure how it had happened, but all of sudden he had the familiar sensation of having the wind knocked out of him; the tightness and gasping. His vision was slightly blurred as he looked up at the sky from his position on the ground where he was laying on his back. He looked over to see Yumichika walking away.

"Get back here! I didn't yield yet," Ikkaku gasped out.

"Don't," Yumichika said, continuing to walk.

* * *

"I heard Yumi really beat up everyone today," Yachiru said.

"What is that you're eating?" Kenpachi asked.

"Candy!"

"We haven't had dinner yet," Kenpachi said with a groan.

"Too late now, it's almost gone anyways," Yachiru said, finishing off the bag.

"Yeah, he did. He even got Ikkaku," Kenpachi answered.

"That's good. He was really nice to me the other day when I went to town and those boys were being so mean," said Yachiru.

"What boys?" Kenpachi's eyes narrowed.

"Oh don't worry about them, Yumi showed me how to handle annoying boys."

"He did, huh?"

"Yeah, he said that I'm probably going to grow up to be really beautiful, and that beautiful people need to stick together," Yachiru continued.

"You could have just killed them."

"They didn't have zanpakuto. Plus, like I said, they were just being annoying. Yumichika said that people get mad at you if you kill people just for being annoying, but that there were lots of other ways to really hurt them. So we rounded up the boys and practiced," Yachiru said. "It was a lot of fun!"

* * *

Kenpachi was still unsure what to do about Yumichika. He wasn't the type that usually hedged about anything. However, he didn't really feel a pressing need to kill him and he wasn't a snitch. Ignoring Yumichika and his threats and posturing seemed like it should be a pride issue, but Kenpachi was finding that he didn't really care about it.

Yumichika on the other hand, had been on pins and needles all night. Kenpachi hadn't really promised to not tell Ikkaku. Even if he didn't tell Ikkaku, he could just kick Yumichika off the squad and not give a reason. Kenpachi had never apologized for touching Yumichika either, and Yumichika knew he never would. I should have just fought him, Yumichika thought to himself. Actually, that seemed like a good idea. He looked over at his captain, who was staring off into space while blocking the doorway.

Yumichika got up as if to move through the doorway. "Hey asshole, move!" Yumichika said rudely to his captain.

Ikkaku sat up quickly from where he'd been lounging outside with a bottle of sake. Did he just hear Yumichika…?

Captain Zaraki looked down at Yumichika. He wondered again why it was he didn't feel like hurting him at all. Heh, Kenpachi thought to himself, he's getting pissed because I haven't said anything.

Yumichika punched his captain in the hip. "Ow," Kenpachi said. Not as in, "that actually hurt me", which would only be possible if Yumichika's fist was attached to a freight train, but along the lines of "you hit harder than I thought". The hip was an odd place to be hit as well. It hit bone and had an odd reverberating sensation.

Yumichika could feel his captain's eyes boring into him. He looked back into Kenpachi's eyes with as much fire as he could muster. "Hit me back you bastard!" Yumichika was thinking.

Kenpachi remembered Yachiru playing with a kitten once. She'd reach out her finger and the kitten would take a swipe at it, while she quickly withdrew her finger out of harms way. "Ow!" she had cried out when it had eventually clawed her, drawing a few drops of blood. "Well, what did you think was going to happen?" Kenpachi had asked. She had started doing the same thing again almost immediately afterward.

He was beginning to understand the fascination.

Also, he could tell that the longer he didn't do anything, the angrier it was making the small man in front of him. Kenpachi laughed, reached down, and ran his fingers through Yumichika's hair before moving out of the way, shoving Yumichika out and closing the door behind him.

Yumichika was fuming.

"Holy shit Yumichika!" Ikkaku was saying.

* * *

Kenpachi wasn't really the pursuer or wooer type. If he saw something (or someone) he liked, he took it, or not.

"What's wrong, Kenny?" Yachiru asked from her perch on his window sill.

"I was thinking about chasing Yumichika," Kenpachi said. He was always as honest as he could be with her.

"Oh, I want a mommy!" Yachiru said.

"A mommy?" That wasn't really what he had intended. Kenpachi wasn't really someone who thought forward that far. He looked at Yachiru. He guessed she could use someone that knew a little more about being a woman. He laughed to himself. God Yumichika would get pissed off to know that he'd just been compared to a woman. Honestly, the problem with women was that although they were soft and boobs were great, he always felt like he might break them if he let himself go at all. With men, he enjoyed slightly rougher sex, but he as much as he thought ruggedness was attractive on the battlefield, it didn't really do much for him in the bedroom. Yumichika skirted all of those problems by being as strong as a man, and still…Kenpachi paused for a moment trying to remember how Yumichika had tasted and whether his lips had been soft. He'd been a little too drunk to recall details like that unfortunately. His hair had been silky in his fingers a few minutes ago though, and he always smelled good, had glowing white skin…

"Hmmph, you know, maybe," Kenpachi said to Yachiru.

"Yay!"


	3. Tension

**Tension**

* * *

"Ikkaku, you look terrible," Rangiku said as Ikkaku sat down wearily at the table in the mess hall, large bags under his eyes, his mouth drawn tightly. Several of the lieutenants had gathered and were eating their midday meal together.

"It's only a matter of time before the captain kills Yumichika, I'm trying to at least give Yumichika some running time when it finally happens," Ikkaku replied, laying his head down on the table.

"Captain Zaraki is going to kill Yumichika?" Renji asked, shocked. "What happened?"

"Yumichika just keeps pushing him. I probably would've killed him myself if he was being as annoying to me as he is to the captain. I have no idea what's going on, but every time the two are in the room together I put my hand to my zanpakuto."

It wasn't long into the meal when Yumichika came in as well. He sat down next to Ikkaku, not looking at him but gazing at the center of the table.

"Seeing Ikkaku, I expected you to look much worse!" Rangiku tried to joke.

"Ha, true beauty doesn't fade when put…oh whatever," Yumichika said, deciding it wasn't worth the effort to finish his sentence and instead ending in a long sigh.

"Um…so what's going on?" Kira asked.

"My captain…likes me…" Yumichika said after a long pause.

"He what?" Ikkaku turned and asked.

"He said that I was his and that there was nothing I could do about it," Yumichika said. "Yachiru told me I was his mate, like a damn animal or something."

"Fuck," Ikkaku said wide-eyed.

"Fuck," agreed Renji.

"I mean, what do you do about that?" Kira wondered.

"You try to annoy the living shit out of him," Ikkaku answered. "I guess that's not working though."

"I figured even if I wound up in Squad 4, as long as he stopped obsessing with me, it would be worth it," Yumichika said sadly.

"It's not that bad, is it?" Rangiku said.

"What the hell do you mean it's not that bad?" Yumichika exploded. "Imagine...let me think…Captain Kurotsuchi starts stalking you. He's always watching you and talking to you and tells you that no matter what you can never escape him because you are his."

Rangiku had paled considerably. "Fuck," she agreed.

* * *

_A week ago_

"Hey, Yumichika," Kenpachi called him into his office.

"Captain," Yumichika said coldly, staying as far away as possible.

Kenpachi didn't seem to mind; he just got up and walked closer to Yumichika. "I've been thinking, and I realized that you are the one for me."

"I don't understand what you are trying to say," Yumichika was staring at the ground.

"I mean, you are the one I'm supposed to be with. You are mine."

"You can't claim people that way!" Yumichika was looking at his captain now, restraining himself from hitting him. No, Yumichika thought, just hit him anyways, it's not like it can get worse.

"Heh," Kenpachi said as Yumichika's punch landed on his jaw line.

"What the hell are you made out of anyways!" Yumichika yelled at him. "It's like hitting a damn cliff!"

That was when Yumichika felt a distinct chill. The look that his captain had given him, it was a look he'd seen many times before. It was the same almost indulgent look he gave Yachiru when she was doing something particularly annoying or endearing. He means it, Yumichika thought, in sheer panic.

"Despite what you may think about me," Kenpachi said. "I know I can't make you do something like this. You can't make people feel, at least not good things. You can pound in people's heads and make them scared or hurt, but you can't force someone to be happy, or to even like you. I'm willing to wait, but don't think you're free…ever…"

That had almost sounded ok until it got to the threatening part, Yumichika thought.

"I don't want you to think that I just want your body, as perfect as it is. I like…" Kenpachi was saying.

Did he just say that my body was perfect? Damn it, Yumichika chastised himself, don't get distracted by compliments. Kenpachi was still talking.

"…and I even like the fact that you are vain and arrogant. It's not boasting if you can back it up. Why not preen if you can get away with it. Don't think I don't know that's one of the other reasons you wear those feathers either," Kenpachi continued.

"What?"

"Yesterday, I pissed you off all damn day. You went out later with bright red feathers, different than your usual ones. There was no way to ignore them. I think you may have even put more on. Then you went into a dingy part of the Rukon district and just waited for someone to say something. When someone eventually did, you practically jumped down his throat. After you kicked his ass, you went after his friends, who did nothing aside from watch."

"I…" Yumichika didn't have an excuse for that. While he was distracted Kenpachi grabbed at him, taking one of his hands, holding it palm upward towards the ceiling as if to exam it.

"And look at these hands. These are a nobleman's hands; the bone structure, how long they are. You hardly even have any calluses though I know damn well that you train just as much as anyone. If you looked just at this hand you couldn't guess what destruction that they could cause. Looking at their whiteness you wouldn't think you'd worked a day in your life, while Ikkaku's are as brown as any farmers."

"Stop touching me!" Yumichika yelled finally, backing up.

"Sure," Kenpachi said. "But don't think anyone else is going to while I'm not."

I wonder what that means, Yumichika thought as he barreled out of the office.

* * *

"When did it start?" Rangiku was asking.

"After the festival," Yumichika didn't elaborate.

"I guess that's why you got so pissed the next day," said Ikkaku.

Yumichika was thinking back to the moment that Kenpachi kissed him. There was something that he had said...Yumichika gasped.

"Ikkaku, would you do anything to help me?" he asked.

"No," Ikkaku wasn't stupid enough to ever make a promise like that the Yumichika; or at least not stupid enough to make that promise twice to Yumichika. It would take him a lifetime to forget what he had had to do last time.

"Fine, hear me out first then. Just before Captain Zaraki kissed me he asked me if you and I had anything going on between us," Yumichika explained.

"He kissed you?" Kira said with a shudder.

Yumichika ignored him. "That means that it matters to him at least a little. All you have to do is tell him that we _are_ together and that he needs to leave me alone."

"I see a lot wrong with that plan," Ikkaku said doubtfully. "First, when he asked you obviously said no."

"That's the thing, I said something along the lines of 'like I'd ever be with the jerk'," Yumichika said.

"Same thing."

"No it's not, we could have just been fighting and I was being pissy," said Yumichika.

"Don't you care that he called you a jerk?" Rangiku asked.

"I am," Ikkaku admitted. "The other thing would be why the hell would I sit and watch all of this going on and not say anything up until this point?"

"Lover's quarrel, I just told you. Now we're together again and you want the captain to leave me alone."

"And if he doesn't want to?" Ikkaku said.

"I won't let you get hurt," Yumichika answered.

Ikkaku didn't look very reassured. "Fine," he said finally.

"Really?"

"Whatever, I can take a couple of minutes of awkwardness if it's going to help you."

* * *

"Really?" said Captain Zaraki nonchalantly, lounging in his office. "First, congratulations on getting back together. Why don't you give Yumichika a kiss?"

"I'm not really into public displays of affection," Ikkaku answered nervously.

"Too bad, do it."

Oh well, Ikkaku thought. It can't be that bad, I've made out with a lot uglier women than Yumichika. If I just close my eyes and pretend he's not a man and not my best friend then maybe it'll be ok.

It really wasn't for the first split second, until Ikkaku could feel Yumichika's presence all around him, taste him, smell him. Shit shit shit shit shit, Ikkaku thought, pulling away. He took a deep breath.

"Tell me, who is seme and who is uke," Kenpachi asked.

Who is what now? "Um…" Ikkaku tried to think.

I guess I should have gone over a couple of details with him first, Yumichika was thinking.

"When did you guys start dating?"

"A long time ago," Ikkaku answered.

"So like three months ago when you were dating that Squad 10 chick, you were together then?"

"Uh yeah…we are open…to that sort of thing…" Ikkaku struggled.

"Yumichika, why the hell did you even bring him in here?" Kenpachi asked. "You know he's a terrible liar. I've seen you make the smallest and largest lies out of whole cloth on a second's notice, but Ikkaku couldn't lie himself out of a paper bag."

"I…" Ikkaku started to talk.

"It doesn't matter; I'm not going to believe you no matter what you say. Hell, you could rip off his clothes and go at him right here and it still wouldn't change my mind. Besides, even if it were true, if for some reason you thought he was yours and I thought he was mine, what makes you think that I'd care? What makes you think that I wouldn't just _correct_ the misunderstanding?" Kenpachi was standing now, his voice low as he approached Ikkaku.

Yumichika quickly intercepted, standing in between the two. "Get out Ikkaku," he said.

"I don't think…"

"It's ok, get out."

Ikkaku did, wondering if it was the right thing to do or not.

"You are such an asshole!" Yumichika yelled at Kenpachi as soon as Ikkaku got out the door.

"Cool it, Yumichika," Kenpachi said easily. "Exactly what have I done to you recently?"

"What?"

"I told you I liked you and then left you alone," Kenpachi said. "Why are you so pissed?"

That…that's true, thought Yumichika. Honestly all he has been doing lately has been giving me odd compliments. Compliments that, if from a different person, and in slightly different wording, would be really beautiful.

"I talked to Yachiru about that night that I kissed you. She said that she would've hit me too. So, I'm sorry," Kenpachi said walking towards the door.

He apologized? Yumichika was actually crushed that he had. His captain didn't apologize. Wait, that didn't make sense, his captain really should since he had been in the wrong. God, he hated not knowing why he was feeling certain things.

Kenpachi was gone, and Yumichika stayed for a moment in the office, confused. He walked out and found Ikkaku, who hadn't gone very far.

"Thanks for that," Yumichika said.

"Sorry I wasn't more convincing," Ikkaku answered. He paused. "Something wrong?"

"I'm not the crazy one right?" Yumichika said. "I mean, I'm absolutely not overreacting in any way…"

"How would I know?" Ikkaku said. "It's not like you've told me everything that's been happening."

Yumichika didn't say anything.

* * *

"Ikkaku, Yumichika," Rangiku called out. "Why are you here?"

"We're waiting for our captain to come out of the captains' meeting," Ikkaku said.

"We're avoiding Yachiru," Yumichika answered slightly more honestly.

"When was the last time you saw Kaito, Yumichika?" Rangiku asked.

"What do you mean? I was in your office yesterday when we met."

"I mean, how late in the day did you see him? What happened when you guys left?" she asked.

"Well, we had obviously hit it off. We just walked and talked for awhile. It was just a little flirting, then back to Squad 11. Why?" asked Yumichika.

"He's in Squad 4 getting treated right now," Rangiku said.

"Oh no, what happened?"

"It happened yesterday evening. I just talked to Isane and she told me that they've found residue of Captain Zaraki's spiritual pressure on him."

"What?" Yumichika said.

"He's not the first either, from what she told me. Captain Unohana is going to bring it up at the end of the captain's meeting."

"HE DID WHAT?" Yumichika yelled again. He was remembering Kenpachi's response after telling him not to touch him anymore. _"Sure, but don't think anyone else is going to while I'm not."_

* * *

"I have something I would like to add before we conclude this captains' meeting," Captain Unohana said.

"Go on," Head Captain Yamamoto nodded.

"Captain Zaraki, please explain why you have been attacking members from other squads?" she asked. "We have treated five people so far with moderate injuries."

"The thing I find hardest to believe is that they only had moderate injuries," joked Captain Kyoraku before he was hushed by Captain Ukitake.

"Well, they've been hassling someone I don't want messed with. They need to be alive and kicking to pass the word along," Kenpachi said. "Not that I mind taking out the lot of them, but I figure it might be an inconvenience eventually."

"This is a personal matter then?" asked Captain Unohana.

"Yes."

"Captain Zaraki, please refrain from attacking members of other squads. If you have a problem with their conduct please report it to their respective captains." Head Captain Yamamoto ordered. Kenpachi snorted but said nothing.

* * *

When Kenpachi exited the meeting chamber he looked down into the courtyard and saw Ikkaku and Yumichika waiting for him. He easily jumped over the rail and landed down in the yard.

Yumichika approached him. "How dare you attack people just for talking to me!" he snarled.

"I didn't hurt any of them that bad," shrugged Kenpachi. "Besides, if they're such weaklings they definitely aren't good enough for you."

Yumichika looked up, and saw the other captains exiting, some gathering to chat for a moment before continuing to their duties. He got a desperate idea.

"YOU COWARD!" he screamed at Kenpachi.

It was as if time stopped. The remaining captains above stiffened, looking down. Ikkaku looked like he had just been stabbed in the gut. Rangiku's mouth was agape, her face pale.

I don't understand, thought Kenpachi. He knows I'm not a coward, why the hell would he call me one. His hand had gone to his zanpakuto without even thinking, but he had paused there, thinking about Yumichika's face. Heh, thought Kenpachi, just before he yelled, there was almost a pain in his face. He's lying and he knows it, this is one of his last moves to get me to act out against him. Kenpachi remembered the kitten scratching Yachiru's hand, the small bubble of blood at the end of her finger. You got me, he thought, but so little that it hardly even matters.

Kenpachi leaned back and laughed uproariously into the sky. "HAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAAA!" He turned and walked away.

Yumichika fell to his knees.

I don't know why I thought that would work, he thought to himself. Other people say that they don't care what others think of them, but he really means it. I could have yelled that in front of a thousand people, or just the two of us, and it wouldn't have made a difference to him. He holds no respect for those people up there. What am I going to do now?

All of sudden he saw Ikkaku's face in front of him. He looked up, seeking help. Ikkaku hit in the side of the head, knocking him out. He flung him over his shoulder and started flash stepping away.

"Why…" Rangiku started to ask. She realized then that even if the Squad 11 captain didn't care about such insubordinate behavior, some of these other captains might. Given the circumstances, she was surprised that Ikkaku had thought so quickly. She kind of wished that she had had the same foresight, seeing as how her captain was now approaching her with furrowed brows.

"Rangiku, what do you know about this?" he asked.


	4. Friends and Lovers

**Friends and Lovers**

* * *

"Look what I made, Kenny," Yachiru said, holding up a wreath of flowers. Kenpachi was sitting against a tree, enjoying the warm afternoon air, trying to doze.

"Uh yeah, they're nice," he commented.

"It's for you!" she said. "It's a necklace!"

He stared at her for a second. "Well, it's not going to fit over my hair, but thanks anyways," he closed his eyes and tried to sleep again.

"I left it open on one side so it will fit," Yachiru explained.

Kenpachi sighed and let her put it on him. Whatever, he thought, if it makes her happy and keeps her quiet then I'm all for it. It seemed to be a good decision because immediately after circling his neck with the flowers she curled up on his chest and went to sleep.

* * *

"I'm pretty sure it's bad to chew those," Ikkaku said.

"What?" Yumichika said. "Oh." He pulled the end of the pen out of his mouth. He'd been staring out the window at Kenpachi and Yachiru distractedly. The two psychopaths were almost being cute together. He shook his head to wake himself up a little. He'd been feeling antsy, he needed to get out and do something.

"I heard that Renji was back from the world of the living for a couple of days," Yumichika said. They'd all mocked him when he'd been assigned to Karakura town, but honestly he was probably having a lot of fun. Yumichika was wondering what he'd have to do to get assigned there. It would solve a lot of his problems.

"Yeah," Ikkaku confirmed.

"Let's go out tonight," Yumichika said.

"I don't really feel like getting dressed up and…" Ikkaku began.

"Not like that, I meant out drinking. We can invite Renji," it was something Yumichika hardly ever suggested so Ikkaku's confusion was understandable.

"That sounds like a great idea. We can invite Rangiku too. She'll probably want to bring along Kira and Shuuhei, we can get a whole group together," Ikkaku was starting to look forward to the night.

* * *

Later that night the gang of them made their way to a bar of medium repute. It was a place that wouldn't get mad if you got completely wasted and vomited on their floor, but wouldn't appreciate an all out brawl between patrons. As expected Renji, Rangiku, Kira and Shuuhei had come. Iba had tagged along, and shockingly, Nanao.

Yumichika wondered how she had gotten dragged into this. She turned to Kira and said something. Kira smiled and gave a sad laugh. Huh, Yumichika thought. He tried to imagine them as couple. How dull they would be, he imagined. No drama or excitement at all. What was the point if your partner didn't at least keep you on your toes some of the time? Perhaps he asked too much of relationships. He always got bored of them so easily and they wound up ending shortly after they started. Yumichika enjoyed the flirting, the chase, the seduction, and he very much liked sex. After that though, what? There had to be something exciting or there was just a lot of empty time doing nothing. Then again, it's not like he wanted to date a total drama queen. He wanted a little spark, but he still had friends and a life, he wasn't going to give up all of that to spend every moment with someone. He had an important job; he was just going to be late to dates and meet ups sometimes. Being nagged and cried to was annoying and such a turn off.

It's not like there was a wide array of available fish though. Squad 11 was…well, Squad 11. He supposed that statistically there were gay men in his squad just like any other, but the idea made his stomach turn if he ever actually looked around and actually looked at them. They were all drunk, hairy, battle-scarred, coarse in every way, and usually with ugly hair. With most of them there seem to be a moratorium on bathing as well. No matter what else Ikkaku and his captain might be, at least they cleaned themselves at the end of the day. Ikkaku might smell of sake, and his captain might smell of blood, but at least they didn't smell of body odor and unwashed clothing.

Yumichika had actually originally had some luck, surprisingly, with Squad 12. Despite some of the members being uniquely grotesque, there were also a high number of cute geeky boys in glasses who blushed when you smiled at them. Yumichika used to think that he liked sensitive guys, but either he was picking them wrong or else he really didn't like them after all. He had to admit he had what he'd classify as a "strong personality" and they'd just let him walk all over them. He wanted to scream at them and tell them to grow a backbone and man up. Of course, if he did scream at them they probably would just apologize for upsetting him. Or worse, cower in a corner.

Squad 8 was practically built for playboys, no matter how much Captain Kyoraku would love for it to be exclusively made up of beautiful lonely women. Yumichika would describe Squad 11 and Squad 8 as two types of drunk. Squad 11 was the type of drunk that became belligerent and violent with a couple of drinks under its belt, while Squad 8 was the type that would become slightly melancholy and maybe take a nap in the garden while thinking about lost loves. In either case, they were both known for their relatively lax standards and similarly minded shinigami joined them accordingly. However, it was fairly common to run into men who thought rather highly of themselves in Squad 8. Oddly enough, although Yumichika was very vain himself, he hated other people who were vain, at least other people who acted vain. If someone spent more time getting ready than he did, or was constantly checking themselves out, or fishing for compliments, Yumichika automatically wrote them off. Yet, Yumichika knew that all he'd have to do would be walk through Squad 8 once or twice to get a date. It wasn't likely to last beyond a night or a weekend, but that shouldn't matter, right? He wasn't looking for anything serious, he supposed.

Yumichika looked over at Rangiku, was sitting between Shuuhei and Ikkaku, greatly enjoying the fact that the two men were openly glowering at each other between attempts to get her to laugh. If he had Ikkaku's standards he'd never be alone. Ikkaku's check list seemed to only consist of: female parts? Likes to drink/doesn't care if I'm drunk? Can I touch her?

Yumichika laughed to himself about that. He knew he was definitely selling his friend short. For Ikkaku to find a woman who would actually stick…well, she'd definitely have to be something special. Actually, looking around at his friends, Yumichika realized that none of them really had anyone special. Out of all of them, only Renji had someone he loved.

Yumichika looked next to him, at Renji. It's not like being in love was helping him out at all in any case. It would be better to not love anyone than to not be able to have the one you want to be with. "Any luck with your campaign?" he asked Renji.

"If you're talking about my love life, the answer is no," Renji said bitterly, taking another swig of sake.

Yumichika began to get a very bad idea. It was so bad that he considered it almost a full minute before deciding it was a good idea instead. He couldn't help it if he was desperate. Yumichika reached out and poured himself some sake.

Both Renji and Ikkaku watched with surprise. Yumichika hardly ever drank. He hated being hung over and he disliked how he got slightly sweaty and flushed when tipsy. He liked being in control of his mind and body at all times, and claimed that sake was bad for one's looks. Besides, being drunk it made ugly people seem more attractive, and he really hated to find out that he'd been making out (or more) with someone way below his standards the day after.

The group of friends continued talking. Renji talked about the land of the living and Nanao told some entertaining stories about her captain. Renji was wondering why it was that Yumichika's knee was touching his, but tried to put it out of his mind, as distracting as it was. Later in the evening he stopped cold when he felt Yumichika's foot wind itself under his calf and rest along the inside of his bare leg under his hakama. Yumichika's foot was bare as well and the feeling of skin on skin was…tantalizing. Renji felt his breath hitch a little. He began to think to himself that Yumichika probably shouldn't have drunk anything after all.

That was of course the reason that Yumichika had some sake in the first place. He wasn't drunk by any means, but he knew that having Renji think that it was possible he was would give him a little more leeway, and a little more time to enact his plan. First thing was to wait until Ikkaku left. The others would be a little slower to do anything, but Ikkaku wasn't shy about calling Yumichika out for doing something stupid. In the meantime he gently massaged at Renji's leg, enjoying the slightly strained expression on Renji's face as he tried to pretend nothing was happening.

"Hey Renji," Yumichika said.

"Yeah," Renji said quietly.

"Do you remember that lake next to the training grounds that you and Ikkaku used to practice on when you were still on our squad? I always loved swimming there. I remember you used to like going there as well," Yumichika said with a smile.

Shit, Renji thought. Is he saying that he knows? Of course he is, why else would he bring it up right now, while he's…touching me.

* * *

It had been after an exhausting training session with Ikkaku. Captain Zaraki had called for his 3rd seat, and Ikkaku had told Renji to let Yumichika know that they were heading in. The sun had been setting, and Renji sat down for a moment to gather his breath. He had fallen asleep, and woken up in the moonlight. He had still felt Yumichika nearby so he went to find him.

He walked forward, almost stepping on a pile of clothes neatly folded on a rock, next to several feathers. Renji stared at them for a moment, and heard a splash. He took silent steps towards the edge of the lake, peering out over the water. Yumichika was floating on his back unabashedly naked. Renji could feel a slight ringing in his ears. In the moonlight, in the distance, with his hair dipped into the water, with his glowing pale body and dark hair, he looked so much like…

Renji grabbed a tree to prevent himself from moving forward, his eyes hungrily devouring the naked body in front of him. He's my friend, Renji told himself very sternly. It doesn't matter who he reminds me of right now, I need to not…Renji continued to watch anyways.

* * *

Ikkaku had finally left to get himself some more sake. Yumichika leaned over to whisper into Renji's ear, one hand on Renji's thigh under the table. "Tell me Renji, exactly how long has it been since you've had sex?" he asked.

Renji's heart began to pound as he felt Yumichika's closeness, his warm breath in his ear, and of course his hand on his leg, which moved forward about an inch when Yumichika whispered to him.

"Renji, I know that you had a crush on me when you were in Squad 11. Being in love is hard when you don't even know if the man you're in love with would ever consider you, and I was close, always there. Surely you had to have at least considered _being_ with me," Yumichika purred the word 'being' so seductively that Renji gasped slightly. Yumichika knew he was going to have to be a little quicker; their friends were glancing over curiously at them.

"Renji, I will give you anything you want to tonight. I will do anything for you," Yumichika promised. He looked at Renji's flushed face and figured he had short circuited Renji's brain sufficiently and that it was time for the next phase. He moved himself up onto one of Renji's legs, sitting in towards him, kissing at Renji's neck.

Yes, Renji thought to himself, closing his eyes, feeling the light body on his lap and the warm lips on his throat. Please, I want…things started to crash into place and his restrained desire went out the window. Renji used one hand to pull Yumichika's face up to his, kissing him passionately. He used his other to firmly grab at the ass that was pressing into his leg, pulling Yumichika into him. Renji had more or less forgotten that there were people around at all, so he was caught off guard when he felt hands pulling him away from Yumichika.

"What the hell!" he yelled to Shuuhei and Kira, who were behind him, strongly gripping his shoulders.

"Are you insane?" asked Kira.

"Let me go!" Renji demanded, struggling to get free.

"No," Shuuhei said, holding him firmly.

Ikkaku had come back around the same time and had a good hold on Yumichika, who he had pulled across the room immediately.

"What the fuck, Yumichika? Are you trying to get a friend killed?" Ikkaku said angrily.

"Kenpachi wouldn't kill Renji," Yumichika said.

"You don't know that, and it's not worth gambling over," Ikkaku said. "What the hell did you hope that this was going to accomplish anyways? It's not like…"

They both froze. They could feel their captain's spiritual pressure.

"Run?" Yumichika offered. It seemed like the best bet for Renji was if there was as much distance between them as possible.

"Yeah, let's run," Ikkaku said.

They took off.

"Damn it," Renji moaned, watching the two retreat.

* * *

"Kenny, why aren't you mad at Renji?" Yachiru said.

"A couple of reasons," Kenpachi answered. "Yumichika is a man who knows how to get what he wants so someone like Renji is going to be like putty in his hands." Kenpachi didn't say anything but he was secretly still wondering if he should at least go have a conversation with Renji about keeping his damn hands to himself. Renji got a one time free pass, but that was it.

"You said a couple of reasons," Yachiru said.

"Renji likes his captain," Kenpachi said.

"Renji likes Byabya? Wow!" Yachiru said happily.

"Um, you should probably not pass that around."

"I don't see how him liking his captain has anything to do with Yumi though," Yachiru said.

Kenpachi was thinking about what he told Yumichika before, about his nobleman's hands. Sorry Renji, close isn't good enough, and you really need to get your own guy. "I'm betting that under all of that clothing and feathers and head pieces, the two of them look fairly similar, especially in the dark," Kenpachi said. "The most important reason I'm not mad though, is that Yumichika wouldn't usually do anything like this. It means that I'm close to defeating him!"

"Kenny, you know that love isn't like a fight, right?" Yachiru asked seriously.

"Sometimes, the two are closer than you might think," Kenpachi answered. "For instance, Renji is the type that will fight long past any hope of winning. He fights until he can't move and his blood is seeping into the ground. He's the same in his love life. Yumichika is a little different. If he absolutely knows that he can't win anymore, he won't fight. He'll give up a lot sooner than someone than Renji would, even if the end result is that same. That's why I'm confident that I'm really close to winning."

"If you say so, Kenny," Yachiru said.

* * *

"Damn it," Yumichika said, as he and Ikkaku gasped from their exertion.

"Well, we wouldn't have had to run at all if you had kept your hands off of Renji. What, you were going to use him? I thought you were his friend," Ikkaku said accusingly.

"We would have been using each other, it would have been a fair trade," Yumichika said. "A terrible idea obviously but…but that wasn't why I was cursing. Kenpachi's beaten me. I really don't know what I'm supposed to do at this point."

"What do you mean 'beaten'? It's not like a fight," Ikkaku said.

"Sometimes it is, and I'm being outplayed," Yumichika admitted.

* * *

Yumichika walked into Captain Zaraki's office the next morning.

"I…I think that I…want to give in…but too many people know," Yumichika said.

To his surprise Kenpachi looked like he knew what he was talking about. "I understand Yumichika. I'll take care of it."

"You probably think it's low of me to care what others think so much," Yumichika confessed.

"I don't care, the more people that know how I feel about the better. If I have to make a spectacle of winning you, it's no skin off my back," Kenpachi said.

He did understand, Yumichika thought. I can't let people think that I just…lost. I have to let them think that he won me. Well, won me in the way that people usually are won in romantic matters, not whatever the hell messed up way it is he might have won me in reality. Why is it that I feel at least slightly fond of him now? Why the hell do I even want to give him a chance?

If nothing else, it would be interesting to see what happened next. At least it wouldn't be boring. Kenpachi wasn't romantic at all though, and as Yumichika walked away he wondered exactly what it was that Kenpachi was going to do.

"Yachiru," Kenpachi called.

"Yeah, Kenny?"

"Did you hear?"

"Sure did. I have a plan!" Yachiru said with a smile. "He'll love it!"


	5. Romantic Gestures

**Romantic Gestures**

* * *

"As president of the Shinigami Women's Association, I have a mission for us!" Yachiru said at the next SWA meeting.

"Mission?" Isane said. "Are we supposed to get missions?"

"Kenny is in love!" Yachiru announced.

"Kenpachi…Zaraki…is in love?" Nanao said very slowly, making sure that she was understanding what the tiny lieutenant was saying.

"Uh huh, and he needs our help!" Yachiru said.

"Um," Rangiku was getting a sinking feeling in her stomach. "I don't know that we should really get involved in this. The situation is a little complicated and I'm not sure that Yumichika would really like for us to get involved."

"Trust me, it'll be fine," Yachiru chirped cheerily.

"Yumichika Ayasegawa?" Rukia asked, slightly shocked.

"It does seem like an odd attraction," Nemu agreed. Perhaps this matter needed further study.

"My idea is to have a whole week of giving him romantic gifts. We'd start Monday, it would end on Sunday and then Kenny can go and talk to him," Yachiru said.

"Romantic gifts?" Rukia starting pondering.

"Yeah, they need to be a little showy too," Yachiru mentioned.

"Alright, let's make a list," Nanao got out her clipboard. "We'll write down general ideas and then assign people to them and those people can elaborate on it."

"What's our budget?" Captain Unohana asked.

"Don't even worry about it," Yachiru knew that if the captain knew that Yachiru was fully planning on spending funds from the Squad 11 budget she might be a little upset so she decided to gloss over the issue.

At the end of their meeting they had a generalized list, as well as several ideas of how to make each gift at least a little over the top or special.

* * *

**Day One**

"Yumichika, I'm not really sure how to say this but…" Rangiku began.

"What?"

"Well, it's just that Yachiru asked us to do something and I'm not really sure if it's something that you want or not."

Oh, that's actually a pretty clever way around the situation, Yumichika thought to himself. He wondered if Kenpachi had thought of it or if it was Yachiru; not that it really mattered to him.

"Is it about Kenpachi?" Yumichika asked innocently.

"Well, yes," Rangiku said.

"Excuse me, is 5th seat Yumichika Ayasegawa here?" someone asked, walking into the Squad 11 general office.

"That would be me," Yumichika waved.

"These are for you," the man set down a large bouquet of flowers before taking his leave.

"See, that is going to happen every hour until the work day is over," pointed out Rangiku.

"Really?" Yumichika said, delighted.

"Yes, and they are irises because they match your eyes and also have a meaning of 'inspiration'," she continued.

"Beautiful," Yumichika said. "Will they all have meanings?"

"Probably, I wasn't in on this day's events," Rangiku replied.

"This day?" Yumichika asked. That sounded promising.

"So, you're ok with all of this?" Rangiku inquired, gesturing towards the flowers.

"Well, who can resist flowers?" Yumichika said.

Oh well, at least I asked, Rangiku thought to herself as she walked out.

I guess I should start finding a place to put them all, Yumichika was thinking with a smile. I should probably force a couple of squad members to help me carry them to my quarters later on too. It will be a pretty parade, he thought, sighing.

"Wow," Ikkaku said, coming in to say hi to Yumichika several hours later. "What the hell happened in here?"

"You are the only person who could look at a room full of flowers and ask a question that makes it seem like there was a terrible accident," Yumichika sniffed. Well, Kenpachi probably would as well, but Yumichika didn't add that.

"Orchids are for delicate beauty? What does that mean?" Ikkaku asked, reading the small card in one of the vases.

"Flowers all have meanings, just like colors do," Yumichika pointed out.

"Uh…" Ikkaku was going to say that he didn't know that but was scared that if he did that Yumichika would educate him, at length. "I usually just stick with roses, they seem to work."

"I'm surprised you've ever given flowers to anyone," Yumichika was actually surprised.

"Hey, I can at least fake romantic things…sometimes…if someone's pissed off at me enough…" Ikkaku said with a shrug. "I just give red roses and it works out ok."

"You know that means love, right?"

"Shit, really?" Ikkaku said. "Wait, these are from Kenpachi?"

"Yes," Yumichika answered. "Well, obviously he didn't send them himself. I'm pretty sure that the Shinigami Women's Association is behind them."

"So is that a good thing or a bad thing?" Ikkaku asked. "I mean, at least he's not beating up anyone, but then again, it seems a little more serious."

Yumichika didn't answer, just shrugged, and went back to arranging his flowers around the room because he knew that a new batch would be arriving soon.

* * *

**Day Two**

Yumichika got a note in the morning telling him to make sure to go to his quarters for his afternoon meal. He was very eager to find out why.

"What…" he said out loud at his front door.

"Yumichika, what the hell did you do to our quarters?" Ikkaku asked.

"Why are you blaming this on me? You've been with me all day," Yumichika pointed out.

They approached and Yumichika took down one of the many objects hanging from their roof from brightly colored ribbons. It was wrapped in bright red crinkly paper. He opened it. It was chocolate covered strawberry.

He and Ikkaku spent a decent amount of time taking them all down, although the ribbons still remained hanging like colorful streamers. Each little package had chocolate of some kind, mostly berries and truffles. "Here, you can have the liqueurs," Yumichika said.

"I don't want candy," Ikkaku said.

"These each have almost a half shot of alcohol in them, it says what kind of alcohol on the outside."

"What? You can do that?" Ikkaku grabbed the handful and began to read through them. "I don't even know what some of these are, they must be from the world of the living."

"Well, then I guess you get to learn a little bit more about your favorite hobby," Yumichika said.

"Drinking isn't my favorite hobby," Ikkaku said. "It's definitely second, maybe third."

"Oh?"

"The top three things every man needs in his life: fighting, women, and drinking. I don't try to sort out which is better, it just winds up being too confusing," Ikkaku said. "I just know that drinking isn't number one."

"Fair enough," Yumichika said, biting into a white chocolate covered strawberry.

* * *

**Day Three**

"Don't bother going to work today, you have the day off," the note on his door said. So he hadn't gone to work. He hadn't had to wait long before he heard a knock on his door for him to accept another delivery.

The basket had a white terry cloth robe, slippers, a big towel and…Yumichika smiled when he got to that part. It was a certificate for a nearby hot springs and day spa. It was good for a hot stone massage, a Eucalyptus body wrap, and whatever a hot towel facial was. He heard Rangiku talk about wanting to go to this place for the last two months, so he had a pretty good idea of who had a planning hand in this one. At least he could let her know how it was. Plus, no work! He hoped that something came in that had to be done that day that Ikkaku or Yachiru would be forced to do.

He got up and looked over the map to the hot springs, looking forward to his day.

"Baldy?" Yachiru asked.

"What?"

"Do you know how to do this?" she said, holding up a complicated looking form.

"Uh no, why?"

"It says it needs to be done today," Yachiru said, looking at the paper as it were a snake.

"Whoops," Ikkaku said, cutting it in half with his zanpakuto.

"I can still read it, it needs to be smaller," Yachiru said, drawing hers.

* * *

**Day Four**

"Hahahahaha!" Yumichika started laughing at he took a closer look at the large box of fruit he had been given.

"What are you laughing about?" Yachiru asked.

"Um, it's kind of hard to explain," Yumichika said, seeing another piece and starting to giggle.

"What the hell, Yumichika, it's just fruit," Ikkaku said. He walked over, looking into the box. "Heheheee," he started tittering.

"I don't get it," Yachiru said, looking at the fruit. "Is it because of these?" She pulled out some small containers. "Why would you want fruit flavored lotion? Who is going to taste your lotion?" she pondered.

"Oh, I didn't even see those," Yumichika pulled them out and looked over the instructions.

After Yachiru had left, Ikkaku had another laughing fit. "I can just imagine them in the fruit stand arguing over whether or not that particular fruit was erotic looking enough."

"Maybe there's a specific place they went?" Yumichika suggested.

"Oh yes, 'sexy fruits and veggies unlimited'," Ikkaku smiled.

"Sounds like a good business proposition to me," Yumichika offered, pulling out a particularly phallic looking pepper.

"God we're so childish," Ikkaku said, laughing again. "I'm betting Nanao came up with this."

"Nanao? Why?" Yumichika said.

"I am telling you, she is secretly seriously kinky and has a subversive sense of humor," Ikkaku answered.

"Oh?" Yumichika said with a raised eyebrow, curiosity suddenly piqued.

"Hey, you want to set some of these out on the desk just to see people's reaction when they walk in?" Ikkaku suggested, ignoring Yumichika's question. "We can find out who has the dirtiest minds."

"Oh, I'm pretty sure that we definitely top that list," Yumichika smirked.

* * *

**Day Five**

Throughout the day on day five, Yumichika got small well wrapped presents, all of which contained very erotic written or drawn fiction. Yumichika himself hadn't really indulged in any of that sort of thing before, and he was somewhat intrigued by it.

"What the…" Ikkaku said, looking over Yumichika's shoulders.

"Don't worry, that's not actually possible," Yumichika said. Although, he kind of wished it were.

"That's not the point, why are you even looking at it?" Ikkaku protested.

"Well, it was a gift. I thought that I should at least look it over," Yumichika answered. Plus the guy drawn on the cover had looked pretty hot, not that Yumichika would admit that.

"What's this one?" Ikkaku said, pointing to an unwrapped present.

"Oh, that just came in," Yumichika said. "You can open it if you want."

Ikkaku didn't really like getting (or giving) presents, but he did like unwrapping things, so he tore it apart with relish. Once it was open though he quickly threw it on the ground and backed away in horror.

Yumichika looked up from his manga. "What is it?" he asked.

"Um, a very large…thing…" Ikkaku said, pointing.

Yumichika looked under the chair where the object had fallen.

"Wow," he agreed. That was definitely the largest, showiest dildo he had ever seen. It had a wide array of buttons on its end and was a translucent glittery blue.

* * *

**Day Six**

"Yumichika, you got a box," Ikkaku called out.

"Sleeping!" Yumichika called out, although, obviously he wasn't anymore. He sighed and got up, stretching with a large yawn.

He opened his bedroom door. "Ikkaku, I don't bother you when you're hung over, you could at least leave me alone when I'm enjoying sleeping in," he complained.

"It's like noon already," Ikkaku said.

"Oh," Yumichika answered. "I guess I was up late reading."

Ikkaku shuddered.

"Hey, it's not all gay," Yumichika pointed out.

"Really?" Ikkaku asked. "Uh, so like what kind of other stuff did you get?"

"Give me the box," Yumichika ordered, ignoring Ikkaku. He gasped when he opened it.

"Clothes?" Ikkaku asked.

"Ikkaku, do you even know how much a kimono like this costs?" Yumichika said, pulling it out. At first he had thought it was second hand, which still would have been great, but as he unfolded it he could still see the seamstress's chalk markings on the inside.

"Well, a lot," Ikkaku offered.

"Probably as much as we make all year," Yumichika answered.

"How the hell did Kenpachi get his hands on that?" Ikkaku wondered.

The answer was easy enough, although it wouldn't have stroked Yumichika's ego. It had been a gift to Byakuya Kuchiki. He had viewed it as too ostentatious for someone of his rank and had given it to his staff to pack away. Rukia had gone through all of things in the extensive "non-use" closet of the Kuchiki estate to find one that she felt complimented Yumichika's features. Rangiku been with him when they had both had their measurements taken at a tailor once and had a decent idea of how the garment should be taken in. There was a small note inside the box in her writing letting Yumichika know where to go if it needed to be taken up. It didn't, it fit perfectly. Once Yumichika had it on he refused to take it off for the whole day.

* * *

**Day Seven**

Sunday morning, there was nothing waiting for him. It wasn't until in the afternoon that he heard a knock and received a small note telling him to go to Squad 4. When he arrived at Squad 4, wondering exactly where in Squad 4 he was supposed to go to, one of the guards at the entrance gate handed him an envelope. It contained two sheets of paper. One said, "I like how shiny your hair is," and the other was a clue as to where he was supposed to get his next note. He noticed that the envelope had the number 2 written on it.

He wound up following the notes all thorough out the seireitei, having to ask help from people several times because the clues were too obscure. Well that and he liked everyone knowing exactly what was happening. Every note had one part that complimented part of his looks or personality, and another part that lead to the next note. Obviously, he knew that they weren't actually from Kenpachi, but that didn't matter to him. He enjoyed the fact that so many people had had to take so much time just to try and make him happy. He could imagine them all pouring over their notes thinking of good things to say about him.

The last note simply said, "I love you," something that Yumichika had to laugh at. Even thinking about those words coming out of Kenpachi's mouth seemed wrong. Yumichika arrived home, having spent a pleasant evening wandering around. If he had known he was going to be seen by so many people he would have worn the kimono, although, perhaps that might have been going overboard.

It was later that evening, after dinner, that Yumichika felt Kenpachi's presence approaching. There was a knock on his door and Yumichika began to reflect back on the last couple of days. Kenpachi had done what he asked and had been completely avoiding him the entire week, aside from occasionally walking by on his way to his office or passing by his quarters. He had also done what Yumichika had asked by making a spectacle of his chase after Yumichika, putting most of seireitei in on the game. Everyone was talking and wondering what was going to happen, and Yumichika frequently heard his named whispered as he walked by. So, had it been enough? Kenpachi was sitting outside waiting for him to at least say something. It wasn't like Kenpachi had really done any of the planning. Then again, he wondered if there was another captain so willing to put his reputation and pride on the line as to let everyone talk about him the way people were now talking about Kenpachi. If Yumichika still turned him down, everyone would definitely know. Yumichika sighed and opened the door.


	6. Birds of a Feather

**Birds of a Feather**

* * *

"Haha!" Yumichika laughed as he answered the door. "Quick, come in before anyone sees you!" he said, pulling Kenpachi in.

Kenpachi had put feathers on his eyes like Yumichika did. He had no idea how Yumichika actually made them stay though, so he had just grabbed a bunch and taped them to the side of his face.

Yumichika had his captain sit down on the couch while he got a good look at him. He started laughing again. He began to tentatively pull at the tape which had become mixed with the captain's hair and eyebrows and frowned as they tugged at the skin. This was going to be a little tricky. Kenpachi sat patiently as Yumichika's delicate hands moved over his face, finally freeing him of the last of the feathers.

"So?" Kenpachi asked. "Did it work?"

"If you're asking if any of the stuff that the women having been doing all week has worked: no," Yumichika said. He paused. "But I have to admit that this is pretty adorable," he finished.

That was good enough for Kenpachi, who grabbed the standing Yumichika, pulling him in between his legs onto the couch. Even though Kenpachi was sitting and Yumichika leaning on his knees, he was still taller, but only marginally. He pulled Yumichika close to him but didn't kiss him right away. He was waiting to see if Yumichika was going to try and bolt. Yumichika wasn't struggling though so he pulled him closer and kissed him.

Kenpachi wondered how it was that he could have possible forgotten kissing Yumichika the first time. It didn't occur to him that the considerable change of feelings between the two of them had anything to do with it. He had never had an emotional attachment to any of his previous playthings so he had never known, though he had been told, that there was more to it than simple biology. There was also the element of having finally won of course, the taste of victory and of winning the chase. In any case, kissing Yumichika was unlike any kiss he'd had before and it instantly awakened his body with sharp fire.

Suddenly the metallic taste of blood was in his mouth as Yumichika bit him. He pulled back for a moment in concern. Was Yumichika upset again? He looked at Yumichika, whose eyes had become almost black, like dark pools. There was a small trickle of blood from Yumichika's mouth. Yumichika gave the smallest of smiles, and Kenpachi saw his small pink tongue lick at the stray blood. He's playing with me, Kenpachi thought to himself, as he struggled to not just throw Yumichika on the ground and rip off his clothes. At this point he didn't think Yumichika would mind, but Kenpachi was experiencing new things that he liked very much and he didn't want it to end to shortly. Delayed gratification has always been something he'd tried for in his battles, not that they last long regardless. It hadn't occurred to him that he might give it a shot in the bedroom as well.

Despite his intentions to not fuck Yumichika into insensibility just yet, his spiritual pressure was still whipping out all over the place. "You might want to get a handle on that," Yumichika said huskily.

"Everyone can just deal with it," Kenpachi said. He kissed Yumichika, savoring the taste of his own blood on his lips. He picked Yumichika up and carried him to the hall. "The one on the right," Yumichika pointed out helpfully. He had to wonder if Kenpachi had wound up in Ikkaku's room if he would've cared one bit at this point. He doubted that it would have mattered.

* * *

Ikkaku was long gone however. The second he felt the presence of his captain at the door he had taken off. The fact that Yumichika thought he was still debating was moot as far as Ikkaku was concerned. He knew Yumichika very well and he knew that no matter what their captain had caught Yumichika's interest. He had mulled over the idea in his own head for awhile until he became comfortable with it. At least Yumichika didn't wind up with a pansy, he consoled himself with. No matter how Yumichika might look, Ikkaku knew that he was tough as nails, and he didn't want to have to deal with some simpering idiot the rest of his life because Yumichika had fallen for someone with nice hair but no fighting spirit. Still, the captain? Ikkaku had to shudder at the thought of the two of them together…Ikkaku's mind thankfully went blank at this point as his brain simply cut out to save him the trouble.

So Ikkaku had jumped out the window. Besides, it had given him a really great line to use.

He showed up at Rangiku's doorstep.

"Ikkaku? It's kind of late," Rangiku said.

"Yeah, I know, it's just that Kenpachi came by to talk to Yumichika and…" Ikkaku let himself trail off and looked awkwardly at the corner.

"Do you need a place to stay?" Rangiku offered, reading the situation.

"Yeah," Ikkaku accepted gratefully.

"I have an extra futon. You can sleep in the dining room," Rangiku said.

No I won't, Ikkaku thought to himself with a smile.

* * *

Kenpachi had put Yumichika down once inside and allowed the smaller man to undress him. He was aware that Yumichika was being almost painfully slow, looking over his body as more and more became revealed. Yumichika had seen his captain in various states of undress many times before of course, but he hadn't really been paying attention. Now he ran his hand across Kenpachi's newest scar, the one that Ichigo Kurasaki had given him. Kenpachi knew that he wasn't going to always be this patient with Yumichika so he let him have fill.

"My god, Kenpachi," Yumichika said as his captain was stripped down to his straining fundoshi. "What the hell do you have down there?"

Kenpachi had to laugh at that and reached for the man in front of him, enjoying the sound his name on Yumichika's tongue. He paused at the feathers, looking perplexed. Yumichika laughed at that and casually removed them. "How the hell…" Kenpachi realized that he didn't really care, not when he had the rest of this package to unwrap.

Not for the first time he wondered how such slender arms could wreak such havoc. "How come you don't have any scars?" he asked Yumichika.

"I do," was the reply.

Kenpachi took a closer look and could see occasional faint lines across Yumichika's whiteness. Yumichika shivered slightly as Kenpachi's hand ran across a point in the back of his shoulder blade. "That one looks like you weren't expecting it," Kenpachi pointed out.

"I wasn't," Yumichika answered. "I was asleep."

"That bastard."

"Yeah, I felt the same way. I made sure he knew what I thought of him too," Yumichika laughed. He gasped when he felt Kenpachi's lips on the same spot. Kenpachi continued to suck at the spot while his hand traveled across Yumichika's belly, kneading at his hips before finally undoing his fundoshi. Yumichika helped himself out of his underwear, stepping forward away from Kenpachi and turned to help his captain do that same. The two of them stood there for a moment, taking in their naked forms. Kenpachi didn't know it but there was one word that Yumichika thought as Kenpachi finally gave in and threw Yumichika to the mattress, "beautiful".

There are many sexual acts that some might view as not becoming or graceful, but Yumichika never thought so. Just as almost any battle (done well at least) was beautiful, he had always felt that when two bodies gave in to each other it was beautiful. It was a revelation to Kenpachi. While he hadn't really expected Yumichika to be a prude, he also wasn't expecting him to be so gung-ho. Yumichika wasn't the kind to give in easily in everything either, and although he dearly wanted to be pounded into the sheets he wasn't going to simply allow Kenpachi to do that. Kenpachi for his part was being driven crazy by how very vocal Yumichika was and was wondering if he should have tied him down beforehand. He finally got Yumichika pinned in the bed, both hands over his head, Kenpachi's legs pressing into his thighs, when Yumichika had bitten him in the neck.

"Oh fuck, oh god," Kenpachi called out. He looked at Yumichika with animalistic lust in his eyes. Quickly he went down, completely enveloping Yumichika's cock in his mouth.

Yumichicka moaned, arching up into Kenpachi's mouth. It was just a distraction though, because Kenpachi took the chance to quickly throw Yumichika's legs over his shoulders, taking the chance to press his tongue into Yumichika's ass. Yumichika had called out at that as well. "Damn it, Kenpachi!" he had cursed. Kenpachi felt like laughing at that, feeling the tremors of pleasure in Yumichika's legs as he moved his tongue.

Despite all of the protestation, the fun, and the incredible drive that Kenpachi felt, he really didn't want to actually rip Yumichika. He had a lot of pent up sexual energy that he needed to get rid of and was hoping to go a couple of rounds Yumichika. It seemed like forever later that he was finally able to push himself inside his lover.

Yumichika lay there gasping. He wasn't in pain but it was still a difficult fit. "Kenpachi, this would be a lot easier if you weren't built like a bull," Yumichika said.

"Mmm," Kenpachi said. It was taking a lot of his control to stay like this.

Yumichika knew that of course. He had actually been surprised that someone like Kenpachi even knew what control was. He smiled to himself and then pushed backward, pressing Kenpachi deeper into him.

"Ahhh," Kenpachi howled before buckling up and slamming into Yumichika.

They had both had just about as much foreplay as they could handle so it definitely didn't take long for either of them. Kenpachi's rough hold on Yumichika, how far he stretched him, and his tight grip on his erection all brought Yumichika over the edge quicker than he would have liked. Kenpachi liked how much Yumichika was able to take, liked how Yumichika was still mock struggling, and when Yumichika came calling out his name, his insides clamping down on Kenpachi's cock, he couldn't restrain himself either. He had never been one for cuddling after sex, but he curled himself around the man next to him like a sleeping dog.

"I think I need a shower," Yumichika said after a couple of minutes.

"Great, are you one of those people that always feels the need to clean up after sex?"

"Yes," Yumichika said. "But the plus side is that it gives you a change to recharge."

"You think I need time for that?" Kenpachi asked, grabbing Yumichika into a fierce kiss.

* * *

Once Yumichika got used to the words that Kenpachi used things became a lot better between the two of them. Although he still didn't like the word mate, he did understand the intense feeling of ownership, because he felt it himself. It wasn't like there were that many people that looked at Kenpachi as someone they'd pursue romantically, but there were those that had hero worship, and seeing that glazed look in their eyes was a surefire way to get Yumichika pissed off. He actually liked the feeling of having someone care about him enough to be possessive of him as well. "Mate" and "owned" still sounded like how you'd refer to an animal but Yumichika was willing to overlook it. Kenpachi had gotten a little used to men (and women) ogling Yumichika. He knew that Yumichika like the attention, and flirting wasn't really something he was good at so he let them have their fun. He still occasionally beat up one at random just so they knew to not let things get out of hand. He never had any idea that Yumichika would take anything farther than flirting, not because he trusted him implicitly, but just because the concept didn't even occur to him. It was to the benefit of everyone that Yumichika was very much wrapped up in his lover and would never even look at someone else. Anyone that made a serious play for him got a sneer and a haughty laugh. Anyone that tried to actually touch him got something a lot more serious than that.

One thing Kenpachi wasn't good at was dealing with the criticism that someone who wears flamboyant feathers and a giant orange scarf tends to get. While he might lean back and grin lazily at some nitwit who was trying to talk himself into Yumichika's pants he didn't take anything from anyone who talked bad about him. The first time it had happened he had paused, wondering if the best thing to do was to let Yumichika handle it, but the next thing he knew everyone was collapsed in blood around him. He supposed he had done it, that really was the best guess; but he didn't really remember doing anything. He had shrugged and gone on his way, leaving the trash behind.

Since Kenpachi having sex and Kenpachi fighting felt similar to most of the squad, they were able to live without constantly wincing at the undulating waves that would break out around his residence and office. Yumichika moved in and Ikkaku moved next door. Yachiru could be found at either places depending. Almost every morning Ikkaku was over for breakfast, and most nights he was over there getting drunk with Kenpachi as well.

It worked out for Yachiru, who got the mother she wanted and got the added benefit of an uncle. She actually really enjoyed when Yumichika got mad and punished her. She didn't know a lot about moms aside from what she'd read, and that's what they seemed to do most of the time, so it made her happy when Yumichika would looked at the floor completely covered in blood and send her to her room. Yumichika didn't really try to keep her in check most of the time, she was still his commanding officer after all. However, if things got out of hand he could always tell her to calm down and behave and she would instantly. He mostly used this to shield himself and Ikkaku from her nicknames and schemes and let her do what she wished with anyone else.

Kenpachi had been pleased to discover that Yumichika had an exhibitionist streak.

"Bored, Captain?" Yumichika said, walking into the office.

"Of course I'm bored," Kenpachi said, looking out the window.

Then Yumichika was under the desk.

"Yumichika?" Kenpachi asked.

Yumichika reached up and cupped Kenpachi's awakening crotch. "Mmmm," Kenpachi groaned.

"How about I entertain you for awhile?" Yumichika said with a grin, rubbing the insides of Kenpachi's thighs.

"Yumichika, you're not even going to close the door?"

"Yachiru has a Shinigami's Women's Association meeting, and screw anyone else," Yumichika said, resting his head temptingly on Kenpachi's knee, looking up at him.

"Yumi…mmm," Yumichika cut Kenpachi off by kissing his erection through his hakama.

* * *

"Look at them, they look like a happy family," Captain Ukitake said to Captain Kyoraku.

Kenpachi and Ikkaku had gotten pleasantly buzzed and were dozing in the shade of a tree, occasionally waking to sip some more sake. Yachiru was splashing in the small stream next to them, while Yumichika seemed to be engrossed in a novel.

"Yeah, one big psychotic family," Shunsui agreed.

"They're not that bad," argued Jushiro.

"Oh yeah? They look kind of happy now but they'd look positively thrilled if you surrounded them with enemies who wanted them dead. Then they'd laugh while washing off the blood, assuming that they even bothered with that."

"Well, you know what they say," Jushiro, "birds of a feather flock together."

* * *

Even years later if someone ever mentioned the word "love" to Kenpachi he would just look at them slightly confused; Yumichika would laugh, Ikkaku would hit them, and Yachiru would sigh and tell them that they just didn't understand.


End file.
